Lately I have been struggling to find happiness in my life. I often feel so lonely and forgotten by my heavenly father. There are so many things that I want that seem so far outside of my control. I have an opportunity right now to have faith like I never have before.
When I was baptised into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday saints I did it willingly but I did it so full of fear and I often looked back not to regret the decision that i made but to agonize over the things that I felt I had lost. Since that day when I hear stories of faithful men and women who sacrifice so much and move forward with faith not looking back and not focusing on the hurt and the loss but on the hope and the future and do it with joy I think "now that is real faith."
Right now I find myself obeying a commandment of the Lord to me, I am doing it willingly but somewhat begrudgingly. I have been sad and unhappy about the fact the the Lord has asked me to sacrifice something that means so much to me. I realize that this is my chance to do things differently. This is my opportunity to show the Lord that I can sacrifice willingly and happily for him because I know of his Love for me and because I know that whatever he has in store is better than what I could hope to achieve on my own.
So in my quest to be more happy and to "find Joy in my days" (as I was promised in a recent blessing) I am going to do a daily blog post for the next 30 days. I have decided that each day I will find something to be happy about. Something that brought me joy and write about it. I will find a quote of the day that will be my theme for how I live that day and I will write about my experiences.
So for today...
Day 1
I have been listening to the most recent general conference as I drive to work each day. I have found that the peace that I feel on those drives and as I listen often stays with me through each day and I am so grateful for the words, so inspired that change my life as they change my perspective.
I got to visit with a good friend Mandy, from when I lived in Missouri today. She is expecting a baby and had the healthy glow of new motherhood about her. As we laughed and talked about old times I was reminded once again of the many good times in my life that I will always have to cherish as memories and the friends who while they may not always be near or accessible, will always be friends.
I read a post today on the Time Out for Women site. It was the talk that inspired this new venture of mine. I really needed to hear it and I have been planning my shedule and filling up my time with good things so that I can find happiness that way and I feel like this was the finishing touch on those efforts! I feel like I am now equiped to face the days ahead and do it armed with Peace, Joy and Love.
My quote for tomorrow is:
Hope is not Knowledge, but rather the abiding trust that the Lord will fulfill His promise to us. It is confidence that if we live according to God's laws and the words of his prophets now we will receive desired blessings in the future. It is believeing and expecting that our prayers will be answered. It is manifest in confidence, optimism, enthusiasm and patient perseverance.
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