Project Happiness Day 3

"Wait on the Lord, Be Of good courage and he will strengthen thy heart. Wait I say on the Lord"

That was my quote for the day yesterday. I guess someone decided that I needed a chance to really practice this one. If the fact that I ended the day sitting in my car crying until I had a massive headache is an indication of how I did...I think I might have failed.

I did not have good courage...my heart physically hurt, and I wondered if the Lord was even there above that steel ceiling that I sometimes feel separates us. But Happiness I guess isn't about an absence of pain really so much as it is the ability to feel joy inspite of the pain. I might be getting there. So while I was a little angry with myself when those first few tears started to fall, and I thought that this experiment of mine must be a failure, I soon realized that its ok to have a bad day sometimes, to cry a little (or alot as the case may be). That feelings and emotions are just that and nothing more. So we pick our selves up dust of the grime of the day and start again.

Ive thought alot about waiting, over the last decade. And today I thought about what it means to wait on the Lord. For years I have had a favorite quote about waiting. It grows more profound and more applicable to me with each passing year.

Waiting
Steadfastness: That is holding on
Patience: That is holding back
Expectancy: That is holding up the face
Obediance: That is holding onesself in readiness to go or to do
Listening: That is holding quiet and still so as to hear.

Perhaps the most difficult of all of these for me is the last one. Maybe if I would just stop fussing for a minute and be quiet and still the Lord would give me some of the answers that I need. Either way I think this was a good one for me to be thinking about today.

I went to institute with a friend last night. It was really nice to get to see her.

Today at work our CEO made a major announcement. Not entirely sure yet how I feel about the changes that are going to be coming in that area. But then lets face it there isnt much in life that I am entirely sure about at the moment so I guess thats no surprise.

Im grumpy tonight, and having a hard time thinking of things that brought me happiness today. I guess I take my quote literally and just wait.

So quote for tomorrow:

"I testify to you that our promised blessings are beyond measure. Though the storm clouds may gather though the rains may pour down upon us our knowledge of the gospel and our love of our Heavenly Father and of our savior will comfort and sustain us and bring joy to our hearts as we walk uprightly and keep the commandments. My beloved brothers and sisters, fear not be of good cheer. the future is as bright as your faith."