Project Happiness Day 15

The other night I went to the temple. I wanted to finish training so that I will be ready on my next shift to actually do some work. I cant even discribe the feeling that I experience there. So much more than Happiness, so much better then contentment its more powerful than peace and more inspiring than a new beginning. I dont know I just feel so fresh as though life truly starts over. After the session I stayed and just enjoyed the beauty of the place for awhile and as I began to pray about some of the things that were weighing heavy on my mind that day I just felt like I so didnt need to worry, in that moment I knew that it really was all going to be just fine. In spite of how I felt tuesday night at the temple Wednesday (day 15) hit hard and in typical mid week fashion. The day seemed long and I felt so tired of trying to keep a smile on my face, tired of trying to be diligent and hopeful and happy. I wanted to give in again and just sit down and cry. Or something. Instead I went out for Ice Cream with a friend. It was welcome relief from the day and our talk encouraged me in my efforts. Its always nice to know that we are not alone in the trials that we face.
Later that night I recieved a message that touched my heart, renewed my hope and left me smiling without even trying when I went to bed. It was a simple reminder of heavenly fathers love for me and of the power of the atonement. The words were encourageing but knowing that someone cared enough to send them meant even more. Instead of a quote today I want to share something that I found in my notes. On this particular day I had just had a talk with someone that I really looked up to and some of the things that he said really stuck with me and actually made a huge difference in my life. This is what I wrote in reference to what I learned from him.
"Surrendering my will also means surrendering my beliefs, my hurts, my patterns and limiting behaviors. Taking His name upon me means realizing this and burying those old ways and patterns in the tomb of my baptism. and accepting that the work that Christ is doing for me on the cross is enough, and that he doesnt need my help up there."
There is alot of power and alot of truth in those words. And they parallel somewhat the message that was sent to me last night. Since Christ already suffered in my behalf for me to refuse to fully accept the work that he did for both my sins and my pain and lonliness and to allow myself access to the healing power that he provides is more than silly, its offensive to the one who suffered all this for me so that I wouldnt have to carry this burden alone. I look forward to the upcoming weeks and to finishing my 30 day challenge going strong. I love the Lord so much and am just in awe of the strength that he provides just when I think I can go no further.